Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize