Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
