Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely

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(941): View more from Florida

thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.

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(907): View more from Alaska

I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.

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(551): View more from New Jersey

The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.

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(903): View more from Texas

Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.

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(801): View more from Utah

The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.

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(805): View more from California

It's like a toaster oven for my penis

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(509): View more from Washington

You are the jesus of drinking

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(949): View more from California

I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs

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