just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
