Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
