Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
fuck your aforementioned shoe
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
