So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
