i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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