I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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