If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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