i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
