My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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