I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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