Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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