Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Randomize
