so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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