I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
