Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
