So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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