i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize
