He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
