Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize
