Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
