I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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