my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
