Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
