how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
My balls are so social today.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
