Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
