watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
