so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
