no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
