Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize