dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
