I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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