Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
