K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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