so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
