Small penises have feelings too.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
