I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
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