vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
