I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
