weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize