it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
