does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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