If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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