Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
