im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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