Cold hands, warm shart.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
