He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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