well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
