My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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