There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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