how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
