so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
