Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
