and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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