and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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