Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
