There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
