we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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