how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
