I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
All the doctor said was why
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
